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Post by ``Mickey. on Dec 3, 2008 17:29:52 GMT -5
1. Set all the alarm clocks to go off in 10-minute intervals
2. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, “Code 3 in housewares,…”and see what happens.
3. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M’s on lay away.
4.Find one of the workers who is making a pyramid or a display of something and as soon as they are finished with it, ask for the thing that’s on the bottom and have a panic attack until they give it to you.
5. Get on the loud speaker and declare a “Going Out of Business Sale, All Items 99% Off”
6. Buy a $200 item and pay for it all in pennies. Lose count at least two times.
7. Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the theme from ‘Mission Impossible’.
8. Move a ‘CAUTION - WET FLOOR’ sign to a carpeted area.
9. Sit down and relax on the patio furniture until they kick you out
10. Set up a tent in the camping department
11. Look right into the security camera, use it as a mirror and pick your nose.
12. Take pictures of absolutely everything.
13. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask ‘Why can’t you people just leave me alone?
14. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say “PICK ME! PICK ME!”
17. See what you can “catch” by casting fishing poles into different isles.
18. Play football and see how many people you can get to join in.
19. Play soccer using the whole store as your field
20. Try on bras over your clothes in the middle of the store.
21. Try to get people to race you across the store.
22. Sit on the floor and watch T.V. in the electronics department.
23. Pretend to speak a different language and see how many weird looks you get
24. Superglue quarters to the floor and count how many people try to pick them up
25. Switch all the radios to strange stations suck as polka or Mexican rap and turn the volume all the way up.
26. Fill up carts and just leave them around the store.
27. When someone is behind you in a narrow aisle, walk very slowly, humming to yourself.
28. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and pretend to be superman.
30. Walk up to random strangers and say “I haven’t seen you in so long!” etc.
31. Do the same thing, except ask for their autograph.
32. Play Red Rover with other customers. Except don’t tell them that they’re playing.
33. Test brushes and combs
34. Take up an entire toy aisle with a G.I. Joe vs. Rescue Heroes battle of epic proportions.
35. Take bets on the battle.
36. Have sword fights with tubes of wrapping paper.
37. Follow people.
38. Play with the price scanners.
39. Spray air-freshener everywhere.
40. Play with the automatic doors.
41. Make a pillow fort.
43. Shopping cart races. Enough said.
44. Crawl into gym bags and laundry hampers.
48. “Re-alphabetize” the CD’s
49. “Re-alphabetize” the books.
50. When someone steps away from their cart to look at something, quickly make off with it without saying a word.
51. Running around the store screaming walmart sucks, walmart sucks let’s go to target!
52. Buy a candybar. Eat it. Get back in line. Buy another candy bar. Eat it. Get back in line. Repeat until you get bored.
53. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines, relax and if the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don’t get out much, ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.
57. Spill clear soap down an aisle.
58. Talk to the lady at the cash register for a whole 20 minutes about unicorns.
59. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.”NO! NO! It’s those voices again!!!!”
60.Pretend to be a monkey and get on all fours screaming “Oo-oo-aaa-aa!” And attack whoever buys bananas.
I might add more later... XD
ENJOY!
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Post by |D| e a n s t e r on Dec 3, 2008 18:05:06 GMT -5
xD I got an e-mail like this a few days ago from one of my friends! I love these things. Have you ever read the list 'what not to do in an elevator' it is hilarious!
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Post by ``Mickey. on Dec 3, 2008 18:06:22 GMT -5
I want to read that! It sounds good already! XD
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Post by |D| e a n s t e r on Dec 3, 2008 18:34:12 GMT -5
Well, I am having issues finding it >.< so read this while I look
Church pranks
Replace Baby Jesus
Replace baby Jesus with a piece of ham in a manger scene. Or you could use a black cabbage patch kid.
Please bless my weapon
Before heading back overseas to Iraq or Afghanistan, see if the local priest will bless your weapon. Try it while there are still people sitting in service.
Confess About Fake Murders
Confess about your obsessive compulsvie disorder, and how you cannot stop the urges to kill. You can laugh all maniaclly and say the urge is coming on, then all of us sudden bang around inside the confessional, slam open the door and run out of church immediatley
Fun With Holy Water
Use water, corn starch, and red food coloring to make fake blood. Then take a small cup of it with you to church. Pour a couple drops into the holy water and spill a little on the floor
Aww Yes! Intermission!!
If you can get access to the sound control box that sends the sound throughout the church during service then try playing Public Service Announcement 2000 by Eminem near the beginning of service. Or Intermission by The Offspring in the middle of service.
Replace The Bibles
The night before sunday service, replace the holy bibles with satanic bibles.
So So Sorry...But I Still Love You
During a wedding, burst in during the middle of it, run to the bride, give a long speech about how sorry you are and how much you love her, then run out.
Get Drunk!
Go to communion and drink the entire goblet of wine.
Break Dance
When everyone stands to sing a song, dash into the aisle and break-dance.
Satanic Message Prank
Use cinnamon oil to write satanic messages on your face before being baptised. When the priest dunks your head in holy water, it will show up as burned marks and be very clear what you wrote. You will also scream in pain. Because it will hurt, so be careful
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Post by |D| e a n s t e r on Dec 3, 2008 18:37:04 GMT -5
OKay here it is!!! It says 'Lift' but they really mean elevator...
Fun Things to do in a Crowded Lift
1)Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.
2) Shake the person's hand when he/she enter the lift.
3) Congratulate all for being in the same lift with you.
4) Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your kleenex to other passengers.
5) Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!".
6) Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.
7) Sell Girl Scout cookies.
8) On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.
9) Shave.
10) Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"
11) Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
12) Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off
13) When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
14) Lean over to another passenger and whisper: "Noogie patrol coming!"
15) Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
16) One word: Flatulence!
17) On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.
18) Do Tai Chi exercises.
19) Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"
20) When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, not now, motion sickness!"
21) Give religious tracts to each passenger.
22) Meow occasionally.
23) Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
24) Frown and mutter "gotta go, gotta go" then sigh and say "oops!"
25) Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.
26) Sing "Mary had a little lamb" while continually pushing buttons.
27) Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends.
28) Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
29) Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.
30) Burp, and then say "mmmm...tasty!"
31) Leave a box between the doors.
32) Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.
33) Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through" it.
34) Start a sing-along.
35) When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "is that your beeper?"
36) Play the harmonica.
37) Say "Ding!" at each floor.
38) Lean against the button panel.
39) Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons.
40) Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
41) Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."
42) Bring a chair along.
43) Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: "Wanna see wha in muh mouf?"
44) Blow spit bubbles.
45) Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.
46) Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
47) Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.
48) Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
49) Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers.
50) Stare at your thumb and say "I think it's getting larger."
51) Announce to the person stood next to you "I really need the toilet. Can I use your bag?"
52) Ask the other passengers "Wouldn't be great if this lift were to plumment to the floor, what do you think will happen?"
53) Petend to get your leg stuck in the door as it closes
53) Without letting anyone see, press the emergency stop button. Act surprised and start talking to yourself "its ok, it wasnt your fault you killed your family. It was SATAN, damm you SATAN! DAMN YOU!!!" Then press the stop button again and act as if nothing has happened.
54) Scratch yourself excessively saying "fucking headlice. They're all over me. I knew I shouldn't have played with that dog so much"
55) Set out a pinic set on the floor and suggest to the other passengers to join you in afternoon tea
56) Break wind and blame it on the person next to you
57) Pretend your are a repair man here to fix the lift. Wait untill its busy and tell everyone to get out of the lift. You get in, get your paper out and sit and relax
58) Start to talk about your sexlife. Tell them that all of your three children were concived in this very lift. And point and say "it was up against that wall"
59) Have sex with your imaginary friend
60) Say you have just won the lottery and you are on your way to collect your winnings. See how many people are listening to you
61) As the lift descends, shout "Bombs away!"
62) Offer to polish their shoes. When they say no, tell them you need the money to feed your ten starving children back home in Estonia
63) Hand out leaflets - "what to do when the lift cable breaks. The ten tips that will keep your body in one pice (although these tips will not save your life, it will make the rescue a bit cleaner, and we wont have to spend ages cleaning the blood of the walls) Hope you will live to do it again!"
64) Perform a striptease
65) Act surprised when it starts to move and say "THE GROUND IS FALLING!"
66) Fake an orgasam when the lift starts to move. Announce that it was your best ever
67) Let your mobile phone ring - don't anwser it.
68) Walk in to the lift with a clear bottle of apple juice. Start drinking and say "ah, theres nothing like your own urine to quench your first. Does anyone want some?"
69) Say "this new g-sring is really starting to hurt." Then attempt to adjust it.
70) Walk into the lift and say "this reminds me of being burried alive. Ah those were the days"
71) Suggest to the other passengers that you all should play a game of twister. Then get out the board and lie it on the floor
72)Paint the walls of the lift.
73) On entering, ask the passengers "Will you be my fwiend?". Burst into tears if they say no.
74) Stop the lift and say "twenty years in prison for murdering the whole family, and I get stuck in a lift after being out for two hours. Just my luck!"
75) Get back to nature - go in naked
76) Pretend to be the pilot of the lift, speach into a headset "this is lift number 1, ready for decent to 1st floor. Waiting for permission to depart, over"
77) Announce in a computer like voice "this lift will self destruct in 5 4 3 2 .....oh heres my floor"
78) Serve tea and coffee
79) Take shoes off before entering, Look shocked and disgusted when the others dont
80) Act like the sergent of the lift. Order people around. Tell them to get in line.
81) Suggest to the other people that your should play musical statues. Bring a tape recorder along too
82) Teach the people french. Dont let them leave till they get it right
83) As you are coming to the end of the journey, get enmotional and have a group hug. Tell them that you will never forget them.
84) Insist, the lift ride costs £2.50
85) Describe in detail, how you're "hung like a horse"
86) Pretend to be a flight attendant (particularly affective if you are dressed like one), instruct the passengers on what to do in an emergency
87) Yodel
88) Bring out a magnifying glass, closey inspect the other passengers skin and say "ooh, look at your pores"
89) Sing "I know a song that will get on your nerves, get on your nerves, get on your nerves, get, get, get on your nerves" Over and over again.
90) Ask the others "Do you mind if I do my eminem impression?", then bring out a chainsaw and a mask.
91) Try breakdancing
92) Bring out a fake toy gun and shout to the person next to you "you lookin' at me?"
93) Challenge the guy stood next to you to a "thumb war".
94) Explain your ideas of world domination to the wall.
95) Force people to read to Kama Sutra while asking "do you wanna try this one?"
96) Dress up in a long, black cloak with a hood, stare and in a deep voice announce "it is time..."
97) Pretend to see a spider, repeatedly and violently stamp on the floor while screaming "Die you bastard, die DIIEEE!"
98) While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, "Hide it...quick!" then whistle innocently.
99) If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler "Bad touch!"
100) Wave hands wildly at invisible flies buzzing around your head.
101) Explain to the passengers that this lift looks the same as the ones on all the other floors.
102) Re-enact scenes from a movie where someone climbs out through the roof.
103) Tell people their clothes are stuck in the lift door, when the look round and see it isn't, apologise, then 5 seconds later say it again in exactly the same tone of voice.
104) Strip naked and ask if 'your' (not my) bum looks big in this dress.
105) Release cockroaches and rats or doves.
106) Ask people which floor they want, say in 'Who want to be a millionaire' style is that your final answer.
107) Point a fire extinguisher at the door as it opens and a passenger tries to enter, ready, aim, and bend the nozzle round and cover yourself with foam.
108) Blast out some heavy metal music (Rammstein or Disturbed oughtta do the trick) sing along, while headbanging.
109) Dress up as a bellboy and ask them what floor they want and press the wrong one. When they try to correct you, spit,"are you trying to say i cant do my job?!'
110) Also in your bellboy act, ask what floor they want. Whatever they say, give them a glare and say "you should be ashamed of yourself!", and leave the lift tutting.
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Post by ``Mickey. on Dec 3, 2008 18:38:42 GMT -5
Lol! Those are awesome!
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Post by |D| e a n s t e r on Dec 3, 2008 21:13:47 GMT -5
ya... One time I sat in the back corner of the elevator, with my knees pulled up to my chest and I was hugging my legs. He rocked back and forth muttering 'they won't find me here' over and over again. It was hilarious!! it was very hard not to laugh at the looks people gave me.
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Post by ``Mickey. on Dec 3, 2008 22:23:23 GMT -5
Lol! I so want to try that. I'm going to Wal Mart this weekend. My mom said her boyfriend has to take me because she doesn't want to be there. It going to be funneh! XD
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Post by |D| e a n s t e r on Dec 3, 2008 22:34:55 GMT -5
xD I would do that, but I am going to apply for a job at either Target or walmart, so I am going to half to wait on that one ^^ Hope ya have fun with it though!!
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Post by ``Mickey. on Dec 3, 2008 22:39:54 GMT -5
I will! Trust meh!
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